October 13

What were Lot’s last words to his wife?

Answer: “Honey, are the girls still following us?”

(Stories & Jokes of Mormon Folks, p. 26)

On one occasion , having failed to make a stubborn opponent see the error of his reasoning, Abraham Lincoln said, “Well, let’s see. How many legs does a cow have?”

”Four, of course,” his opponent replied.

“That’s right,” answered Lincoln. “Now suppose we call the cow’s tail a leg, how many legs would the cow have then?”

“Why, five, of course.”

“That’s where you make an error,” said Lincoln. “Simply calling a cow’s tail a leg doesn’t make it a leg.” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 271).

Golden sometimes visited the members in Delta, located in the harsh West Desert of Utah.

He always came back grateful.

“As far as I’m concerned, God’s creative juices ran out on him when he got to Delta. Delta is not the end of the earth, but it’s just slightly beyond Delta, about over by the Nevada border.

“Every time I go down there I tell them the same thing and they all laugh. I say, ‘Brothers and sisters, you do not have to fear Hell. You are living in it!’”

* * * * *

On one occasion Golden was in St. George attending stake conference. It was a long meeting, and a very hot day, about 118 degrees.

Golden was the last to speak. At the podium he looked at those poor people out there in the audience: the women wilting in those full skirts and bonnets, and men, tan from half their foreheads down, in black suits bravely perspiring.

He told them, “I don’t know how you do it, brothers and sisters. This insufferable heat, the Indians, the scorpions, the flooding Virgin River. I don’t know how you do it. If I had a house in St. George and I had a house in Hell, I’d rent out the one in St. George and move straight to Hell.” (J. Golden Kimball Stories, p. 93-95).