October 19

Phones. They can make life hectic and confusing.

As second counselor in the bishopric, Brother Ripler wasn’t a novice to cell phone technology or to the task of calling people on the phone and asking them to speak in sacrament meeting.

While at home one day, Brother Ripler picked up his new cell phone and dialed a familiar number, planning to ask the priesthood holder to speak. Just then, the house [land line] telephone rang. Still holding the cell[phone] to his ear, Brother Ripler picked up the landline and said, “Hello.”

There he stood with a phone to each ear, realizing he’d mistakenly dialed his own number.

“I’d like to ask you to talk in sacrament meeting next Sunday,” he said, laughing into his cell phone.

“I’d be happy to talk on Sunday,” he replied into his landlinel

And that is how the ward ended up having the second counselor speak at the next sacrament meeting. (Mormon Mishaps and Mischief, p. 46-47).

* * * * *

At a banquet, a speaker was rambling on about a subject which held very little interest for most of the audience. Unable to stand it any longer, one of them slipped quietly out. Just outside the door he bumped into another sufferer who had gone out just before him.

“Has he finished yet?” he was asked.

“Yes,” said the man who had just escaped, “long ago, but he won’t stop talking.”

(Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 242-243).

* * * * *

An elderly gentleman from Holladay [Utah] recalled the first time he heard Uncle Golden speak.

“Brother Joseph Fielding Smith was the first speaker of the conference and he really let us have it. He berated us for over an hour. He left us with the clear impression that none of us would make it in the next life.

“When Golden got up, he won the audience over by simply saying, ‘Brother Smith has just told you how you’re all on a train headed straight to Hell. Let me make a few suggestions how you might jump off at the next station.’” (J. Golden Kimball Stories, p. 111).