October 20


The chapel was filled to capacity for Sacrament Meeting. Shortly after the meeting started, the Bishop noticed the Stake Presidency had made a surprise visit and were standing near the chapel’s back door.

Since there were no empty seats on the stand, the Bishop leaned forward and softly said to one of the Deacons on the front row, “Robert, please go get me three chairs.”

Because the Bishop spoke so softly, Robert only partially heard him. So he replied, “What?”

Not wanting the entire congregation to hear, the Bishop whispered back, “Get me three chairs.”

Still not properly hearing the Bishop, Robert again asked, “What?”

Getting a little impatient, the Bishop said, “Get me three chairs, now?”

Robert looked at the Bishop and said, “Now?”

The Bishop replied, “Now.”

Being obedient, Robert shrugged his shoulders, jumped to his feet, and yelled, “Rah, Rah, Rah, Bishop!” (Stories & Jokes of Mormon Folks, p. 34-35)

* * * * *

Hugh B. Brown: For a speech to be immortal it does not need to be everlasting. (Conference Report, April 1956; Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p.251).

* * * * * *

Uncle Golden spoke at a ward conference. One man in the audience had little patience with anyone, especially a General Authority, telling him how to live his life.

When Golden finished his talk, sure enough the man went up to him while he was still on the stand and told him he did not appreciate being told what to do by any Church leader. He said he was fully capable of reading the scriptures and deciding for himself how to live his own life, than you,

Golden listened without interrupting. He finally asked the man to come down and see him at his office the next day.

The man showed up at the appointed time all set for a good confrontation. Golden ‘s secretary invited him into the office and told him to sit down. Golden was on the phone at the time and continued to talk. He then did some paperwork without saying a word to the man.

Finally, Golden got up and walked to the window and looked down on South Temple Street for some time. He then asked the man to join him at the window.

As they stood there, Golden said, “You see those men down there sweeping up horse manure? [Required in the horse and buggy days] I’d be doing the same damn thing if I hadn’t learned to keep my mouth shut some of the time. Do you understand what the hell I’m trying to tell you?”

The brother got the message. (J. Golden Kimball Stories, p. 108-109).

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