The Sunday School teacher hoped to create a parallel to the Atonement using everyday objects for comparison. Uncertain if the class members would understand the point of the lesson, he nervously adjusted his charcoal-gray suit coat and slid his bifocals down on his nose so he could see everyone. “If you need to jump off the top of a tall building, and you could have an umbrella, a bungee cord, or a net for safety, what would you use?”
Class members laughed, knowing the answer would be a net. Then a silver-haired, senior sister---who was known for her sense of adventure as well as her sense of humor---said, “It’s not my experience, but I can tell you an umbrella doesn’t work.” (Mormon Mishaps and Mischief, p. 82-83)
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Question: The top story of the ark had windows to let light in, but how did Noah get light to the bottom two stories?
Answer: He used floodlights. (Stories & Jokes of Mormon Folks, p. 29)
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J. Golden Kimball: I can tell you how you can keep out of debt, but I can’t tell you how to get out after you get in. I had a man come to me the other day who wanted me to endorse his note. I had sworn, almost on an oath, I would never sign another note, not even for my wife. But he looked at me so pitifully, and was in such dire distress, and I had so much confidence in him, that I told him I would sign it, although I was quite sure I could not pay it if he did not. He applied at one of our banks. They did not know me, for which I was very thankful. I went to the bank and looked the man in the face. He said, “Mr. Kimball, haven’t you got any collaterals?” I said, “Collaterals---I should say not! I haven’t got a collateral of any kind.” He said, “How do you expect me to take your endorsement?” I replied, “On my looks and general character. That is all I have got.” And he turned me down; and I have been tickled to death ever since. That is the way to keep out of debt.” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 71)