October 29

A young girl was about to say her part in a Primary program. When she stood in front of the group, her carefully rehearsed lines faded from her mind and she stood there unable to utter a single syllable.

Soon, the Primary President knelt beside this girl and quietly asked if she needed help. The young girl didn’t say a word.

The Primary President noticed this girls mother had quickly moved from the back to the front row, so the President sat down.

This mother whispered to her daughter, “Remember what I taught you at home, ‘I am the light of the world.’”

Instantly the girl’s face relaxed, a smile appeared and with confidence she began, “my mother is the light of the world.” (Stories & Jokes of Mormon Folks, 58)

* * * * *

There was a good mother in Crete

Whose pantry was clear full of wheat.

When times got real bad,

Her children were sad,

For she hadn’t stored food they would eat.

(Latter Day Wit and Wisdom, p. 86).

* * * * *

Heber [J. Grant] called Golden early one morning to ask a favor. He said a reporter from The New York Times was on the line wanting to ask about a rumor going around the eastern seaboard. Heber was busy, and, could Golden please handle this?

The Church back then was an endless source of fascination for the eastern press, which hadn’t yet come up with the idea for Elvis sightings or first-hand accounts of alien abductions.

Golden wasn’t happy about the earliness of the call or what it likely portended, but he agreed to field the newspaperman’s queries.

The reporter came on the line. He gave his name and said he had it on good authority that when the Second Coming was imminent, the Mormons in Salt Lake would be the first to know. The Angel Moroni on top of the Salt Lake Temple, he said, would blow his golden horn. Everyone in Utah would then know to get ready for the Lord to arrive.

Was there any truth to this story?

Golden looked at the receiver as though he hadn’t heard correctly. He jabbed his finger in his ear to screw out any wax that might be lurking there. He asked the man ro repeat what he’d said---something about the Second Coming and a statue and a horn?

The reporter obliged, and Golden realized that he had heard correctly the first time.

“There’s no damn truth to it at all!” he sputtered. “If the Angel Moroni were to toot his horn, it would blow pigeon [poop] all over every one and every thing east of the temple block, and that would never do!”

And he slammed the phone down on the startled newsman.

(More J. Golden Kimball Stories, p. 33-34)