October 3

Nine-year-old Travis came home from school with a black eye and a bloody nose.

Dad: You look terrible! What happened?

Travis: I challenged Jeremy to a duel, and he got to choose his weapon.

Dad: Well, that seems fair.

Travis: Yeah, but I didn’t know he’d choose his sister! (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 56)

* * * * *

Dad: Shawn, what did you do when Erik called you a liar?

Shawn: Well, Dad, I remembered what you taught me about a soft answer turning away anger.

Dad: That’s wonderful! What did you say to him?

Shawn: Well . . . I answered him with a soft tomato. (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 56)

* * * * *

J. Golden Kimball.jpg

Golden was assigned to go and speak in Las Vegas. He was told by the stake president that there were some newspaper reporters in the audience. They had learned he was often given to swearing when he preached and they would have loved to catch him in some of his more colorful remarks for their papers.

Golden got up to speak. He acknowledged their presence by saying,. “Now over here on the front row sit a number of newspaper reporters. They’re waiting for me to swear because they want to put in their articles that I am a swearing elder.

“If they do that, they’re damn liars.” (J. Golden Kimball Stories, p. 71).