Brother Simmons was giving advice to his newly married son, who had been a good athlete in high school. “Man can climb the highest mountain, swim the widest river, do well at physical sports, but once he is married---he mainly takes out the garbage. (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, p.101).
Each time I pass a church,
I always pay a visit,
So when at last I’m carried in,
The Lord won’t say, “Who is it?”
(Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p.46).
* * * * *
A woman went to the post office to mail her daughter a new set of scriptures. The Clerk asked if the package contained anything breakable. “Just the Ten Commandment,” she replied. (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p.46).
When President Heber J. Grant said the Church was going to observe the Word of Wisdom and that the 89th Section [D&C] was going to be enforced, Golden went in to him and said, “Heber, you can’t do this to me. I’ve been drinking coffee all my life. What am I supposed to do?” President Grant said, “Well, Brother Kimball, try your very best to give it up.”
The year before Golden died, he gave a talk at stake conference, “I want you brothers and sisters to know that I observe the Word of Wisdom. I still have a bit of a problem, but I’ve just about got it licked. I’m 85 years old and I’ve just about got it licked.” (J. Golden kimball Stories, p. 75).
* * * * *
Golden’s nephew, Ranch Kimball, sometimes picked his uncle up at noon on beautiful sunny days outside the old Church Administration Building. He’d take his favorite relative up City Creek Canyon for a cup of coffee and a sandwich.
One day they were sitting near the top of City Creek Canyon enjoying a pot of coffee over a small fire. Ranch asked, “Uncle Golden, does it bother you being a General Authority who drinks coffee?”
Golden thought for a minute and said, “Hell, no, it doesn’t bother me at all, The 89th section doesn’t apply at this altitude.”(J. Golden Kimball Stories, p. 82-83).