Brigham Young: To guide the minds of the people and to govern and control them is a greater miracle than to raise the dead! (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 129).
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Willard L. Jones, a stake president in Nevada in the early 1900's, was a fast runner. One night he heard some noise in his melon patch and looked out to see several boys---all members of his ward---stealing watermelons.
When he stepped outside, the boys ran. The stake president was hot on their heals, but wasn’t fast enough to catch hem.
The next day he passed one of the boys on his way to town. He tipped his hat , grinned, and said, “Nice run we had last night!” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 130).
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Golden went in to buy a new Stetson hat at ZCMI. He loved Stetson hats. He went up to the counter and said, “I’d like to look at that Stetson hat right over there. I’ve had my eye on it for several weeks.”
The salesman brought it over, dusted it off and said, “This is our very best Stetson.”
Uncle Golden said, “Well, how much is it?”
“Sixty-five dollars!” Golden exclaimed. He looked the hat over critically and said, “Where are the holes?”
“Holes?” the man asked, puzzled, “There are no holes in Stetson hats. Why should they have holes?”
“Holes for the ears of the jackass that would pay $65 for it.” (J. Golden Kimball Stories, p. 89-90).