Brigham Young: Study to preserve your bodies in life and health and you will be able to control your minds. And when you come to a meeting, bring your minds with you. (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 16)
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Complaining ward member: How can I be thankful, Bishop? What have I got to be thankful for?
Bishop: Surely there must be something.
Complainer: Why, I can’t even pay my bills.
Bishop: Then be grateful you’re not one of your creditors. (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 17)
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Uncle Golden had retained a small portion of his ranch in Round Valley. He loved to go there often. My father, Noble Kimball, drove him up on several occasions.
The problem, according to my father was getting a team of mules hitched up. Some stake in that area had given him a pair of mules that refused to work together. They were, as sometimes expected, very stubborn. My dad said sometimes it would take most of the morning to get the mules hitched.
On this occasion, Golden and dad succeeded in getting one mule out of the barn and hitched up. The other mule could see what was on their minds, so as they led him out, he reared and ripped the rope away from my father and took off in a run down the road.
The first mule, seeing that the second mule had run off, did the same thing. In the process, he tipped over the wagon and the tongue broke off the wagon. Both mules headed off in different directions at a full gallop.
The two men stood and watched in silence. Finally, my father said Golden took off his hat and threw it on the ground. “You know, Noble, there’s something I’ll never be able to figure out: How Noah got two of those sons of b****** on the ark!” (J. Golden Kimball Stories, p. 91)