November 10

The judge looked at the defendant. “Young man, it is alcohol that is responsible for your present sorry state.” “I’m glad you said that. Everyone else says it’s my fault.”

(Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 1)

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As one person explained it, no one wanted to take responsibility for what happened in the Garden of Eden: “Adam blamed Eve, and Eve blamed the snake, and the snake didn’t have a leg to stand on.” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 1)

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King James the First would say to the lords of his council, after they sat upon any great matter: “Well, you have sat, but what have you hatched?” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 3)

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A little girl anxiously told her mother that her brother was setting traps for birds. “He won’t catch any birds in his traps, will he, Mother?” she asked.

The mother said, “Perhaps he will--you cannot be sure he will not.”

“I have prayed about it and asked Heavenly Father to protect the birds,” the girl said. Then, becoming more positive, she said, “I know he won’t catch any.”

The mother asked, “How can you be so positive?”

Because after I said my prayers, I went out and kicked those old traps to pieces.”

(Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 4)

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Golden said his swearing was an art form he learned from the saddle in Bear Lake. Swearing was simply some of the leftovers from his cowboy days.

He tried very hard to clean up his language. He assured people that what he was left with had come from a far, far larger vocabulary. ” (More J. Golden Kimball Stories, p. 62)

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