November 15

The family was ready to eat dinner. Little Billy said to his dad, “Dad, are caterpillars good to eat?”

Dad said, “Now son, you don’t talk about things like that at the dinner table.”

“OK,” said Billy. “There was one on your lettuce, but it’s gone now.”

(G-Rated Jokes and Other Rarities, p. 53)

* * * * *

An older Bishop once remarked, “If you want to stay young, associate with the youth in the Ward. If you want to feel your age, try to keep up with them.”

(Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, p. 13)

* * * * *

Bumper Stickers:

For the obvious: “They’re not all mine. I’m a den mother.”

For genealogists: “My family has a history; does yours?”

(Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, p. 14)

* * * * *

Two men were catching up on a missionary reunion.

“I have three children now,” one of them said.

“I sure wish I had three children.”

“Don’t you have children yet?”

“Yes, six!”

(Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 37)

* * * * *

Here’s another story from the time that Golden was president of the Southern States Mission... Golden attended a mission conference in the city of Mine Lick, Tennessee, in 1892. As mission president, Golden was there to preside.

The missionaries of the Central Tennessee District decided at the last moment that they would present a hymn at this conference. By their own admission, their presentation of this hymn, unfortunately, rang both high and loud in certain parts.

Golden arrived and heard the elders practicing–in fact it was impossible not to. He stood there for several minutes listening. He then asked Elder Willard Bean, who was leading the singing, to step outside with him.

When they got outside, he said, “Now, Elder Bean, I think it best that we have you and the other missionaries sing in another room. We’ll bore holes in the door and let a little in at a time. You see, my eardrums can’t take it all at once.” (More J. Golden Kimball Stories, p. 95)

So, You’re a Bishop,  p. 82

So, You’re a Bishop, p. 82