November 20

“How do you like your new teacher?”

“Oh, she’s smarter than Miss Jones; she only uses one finger to play the piano, and Miss Jones had to use both hands” (G-Rated Jokes and Other Rarities by Alma Heaton, p. 59)

* * * * *

A primary teacher described how Lot’s wife looked back at Sodom and was turned into a pillar of salt.

Suddenly Jimmy interrupted, “My mother looked back once while she was driving the car, and she turned into a telephone pole!” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 26)

* * * * *

You probably are or have been a Latter-day Saint Missionary if:

About every eight weeks you get a new roommate who you don’t get to choose.

You introduce yourself to people every day without telling them your first name.

You get one half day per week all to yourself, and you spend most of that time doing your laundry. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 33)

* * * * *

Brother Blicker came home from work with a joke to tell his wife. “Did you hear the one about the window that needed cleaning?” he asked.

“No, I don’t believe I have,” she answered.

“Well, I guess I shouldn’t tell you–you couldn’t see through it anyway.”

Sister Blicker thought that was pretty clever. When she saw her neighbor the next day, she said, “Have you heard the story about the window you couldn’t see through?”

“No, tell me,” the sister answered.

“Oh, I’d better not,” Sister Blicker said, “It’s too dirty to tell” (see Brown, BYU Speeches of the Year, 16 Feb. 1954, 1-2). (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 51)

* * * * *

When Henry Lunt was released from his calling as Bishop in Cedar City, J. Golden Kimball was sent down to organize a new bishopric. When he arrived at the meeting, he looked over the audience very long and carefully. He scrutinized the men sitting on the south side of the chapel.

Then Golden spoke, pointing to one man. “You–you with the mustache and the sandy hair. Yes, I mean you. Come up on the stand and sit here by me. You will be the new Bishop.”

The congregation registered surprise that he’s chosen Will Corey, but went ahead and sustained Golden’s choice. Afterwards, the question was asked why in the world did he choose Brother Corey, who everybody knew wasn’t active? Golden said, “Well, I know he isn’t a church man, but I will tell you something. I wanted a man who could *** out of those people, and he looked like just the sort to do it.” Needless to day, William H. Corey went on to become one of Cedar City’s most outstanding Bishops for more than twenty-five years. (More J. Golden Kimball Stories, p.109)

Mormon Life  , p. 25