November 23

Crossing the yard one afternoon, Jane was horrified to find several dep scratches on the top of the new redwood picnic table. She lined up her sons and began the cross-examination, remarking, “Just wait until your father sees that!”

One of the boys confessed, saying, “I did it, mommy, and daddy knows about it.”

“He does? Well, what did he say?”

“He said, ‘Just wait until your mother sees that!’” (G-Rated Jokes and Other Rarities by Alma Heaton, p. 63)

* * * * *

Question: Where is medicine first mentioned in the Bible?”

Answer: When God gave Moses two tablets.

Question: Who was known as a Mathematician in the Bible?

Answer: Moses–he wrote the book of Numbers. (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 28)

* * * * *

The later you come to class, the closer to the front you have to sit.

The day you’ll most likely forget to set the timer for the roast is on fast Sunday. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 38)

* * * * *

Nine-year-old Travis came home from school with a black eye and a bloody nose.

Dad: You look terrible! What happened?

Travis: I challenged Jeremy to a duel, and he got to choose his weapon.

Dad: Well, that seems fair.

Travis: Yeah, but I didn’t know he’d choose his sister!

* * * * *

J. Golden Kimball: Educated as we are, and breathing this mountain air for twenty years, it takes a little training before you can turn the other cheek and treat those kindly who spitefully use you. It takes a little education to learn how precious are the souls of the children of men in the sight of God. So we need some older men to put their hands on us younger boys and hold us down. We are a good deal like Peter. I was that way. I would have cut more than one of their ears off, if there had been someone to stick them on again (Conference Report, April 2901, 9). (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 56)

So, You’re a BYU Fan!  p. 67

So, You’re a BYU Fan! p. 67