November 26

The teacher, instructing his class in first-aid, asked, “Why does a surgeon wear a mask while performing an operation?”

Johnny quickly replied, “So that if he makes a mistake in doing it, the patient won’t know who did it.” (G-Rated Jokes and Other Rarities by Alma Heaton, p. 66)

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Question: The top story of the ark had windows to let light in, but how did Noah get light to the bottom two stories?

Answer: He used floodlights. (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 29)

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You are probably a descendant of a pioneer if:

After being asked, “How are you?” you answer, “All is well.”

You were named after your great-great-grandfather’s fourth wife.

You think the only thing seagulls eat are crickets. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 43)

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Karen: I understand John has finally asked you to marry him. Did he mention that he once proposed to me?

Mary: Not specifically. But he did say he’d done a lot of foolish things before he met me. (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 66)

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J. Golden Kimball was giving a conference address during the April session of General Conference and was wanting to stress the importance of reading the Book of Mormon. He began by asking the audience whether any of them were interested in reading the sealed portion of the Book of Mormon. A raising of hands indicated that the congregation unanimously agreed they would like to do this. Elder Kimball continued: “Then why in the ** don’t you read the parts that aren’t sealed?” (The J. Golden Kimball Stories, by Eric A. Eliason, p. 58)