November 28

Brother Jones to Brother Smith: “I think I’ll turn in early tonight. I resisted a lot of temptation today.” (G-Rated Jokes and Other Rarities by Alma Heaton, p. 69)

* * * * *

While speaking with his Stake President, a Bishop admitted, “I have a hard time remembering the last names of new people when they are introduced.”

“So do I,” the Stake President replied. “But I found a way to get around the awkwardness of asking them to repeat their name later. I just ask, “Do you spell your last name with an ‘E’ or with an ‘I’”?

The Bishop thought that sounded like a good idea and would give it a try.

Several weeks later the Stake President was visiting with the Bishop and asked him, “How has the new way for remembering the names of new people gone for you?”

“It worked well several times,” replied the Bishop, “but then one family moved in to the Ward, and I asked them if they spelled their last name with an ‘E’ or an ‘I’ and they got quite upset.”

The Stake President asked, “What was their last name?

The Bishop replied, “Hill.” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 30)

* * * * *

You are probably a descendant of a pioneer if:

When a waitress asks if you have a seating preference, you point at a table nearby and reply, “This is the place.” (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 43)

* * * * *

A debtor on the witness stand cried, “As God is my judge, I do not owe the money.”

The judge replied, “He is not. I am. You do.” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 71)

* * * * *

Man pestering Elder Kimball: “Elder Kimball, do you believe that Jonah was really swallowed by a whale?

J. Golden: “I don’t know. When I get to heaven I’ll ask him.”

Man: “Suppose he didn’t make it there?”

J. Golden: “Then you can ask him.” (The J. Golden Kimball Stories, by Eric A. Eliason, p. 62)

Mormon Life     Click Here!

Mormon Life Click Here!