November 30

“Oh shucks,” said Jeffery. “Sunday School again. I bet pop never went to Sunday School.”

“He never missed,” said Jeffery’s mother.

“Well, I bet it won’t do me any good either,” said Jeffery.

(G-Rated Jokes and Other Rarities by Alma Heaton, p. 71)

* * * * *

A Bishop, a Stake President and an IRS agent died the same day. When they arrived at the pearly gates, Saint Peter greeted them.

After listening to them explain what they had each done in life, Peter turned to the IRS agent and said, “Please come in.”

He then turned to the Bishop and Stake President and said, “I’ll need to gather a little more information about you two before you can come in.”

The two men asked why an IRS agent would be able to go right in, and they were required to wait. St. Peter answered, “My records show that the IRS agent scared the Devil out of more people than you two put together.” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 35)

* * * * *

You are probably a descendant of a pioneer if:

Every time you complain about your chores, you’re reminded of your great-great-grandfather’s handcart trek. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 44)

* * * * *

George Durrant: I have been told that a traveler driving through Manti, Utah, stopped, rolled down his car window, and asked a farmer, “How do I get to Salt Lake from here?”

The farmer replied, “You can go up several miles, then turn left and go through Moroni, then continue on to Nephi. Get on the freeway and head north to Salt Lake. Or you can go past the turnoff and go up through Thistle and then down Spanish Fork Canyon to the freeway. Go north and you’ll get to Salt Lake.”

After considering the alternatives, the visitor asked, “Does it matter which way I go?”

The farmer replied, “Not to me it don’t” (Durrant, Look at the Sky, 1) (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 74).

* * * * *

When J. Golden Kimball was being set apart as a General Authority, the apostle ordaining him said, in an apparent attempt to make J. Golden feel confident, “Brother Kimball, you are truly your father’s son.” J. Golden turned around and said, “Well, I’m certainly glad to hear that.” (The J. Golden Kimball Stories, by Eric A. Eliason, p. 63)

Mormon Life  , p. 24
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