November 6

The following story was told many years ago when people were allowed to smoke in a public building.

Taking her six-year-old daughter Amy with her, Sister Pratt went to a hair salon to have her hair trimmed, washed, and combed. Five hair dryers away from Sister Pratt, a woman was smoking a cigarette.

Not having been around people who smoked, Amy kept staring at this woman and said, “Don’t you know that you’re not suppose to smoke?”

This woman was quite indignant and responded, “Who says I can’t smoke?”

With courage, Amy declared, “Smokey the Bear and Holy the Ghost!” (Stories & Jokes of Mormon Folks, p. 148).

* * * * *

The bishop approached a young man in the ward. “I understand you went to the ball game instead of coming to church this morning.”

“That’s a lie,” said the boy. “And here’s the fish to prove it.”

(Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 103).

* * * * *

Different versions of the same story.

“At one point the church was voting democratic. They were accused of political bias due to religion, so the president of the church commanded that when a congregation was seated, the bishop was to divide the right and the left side of the chapel into Democrats and Republicans. The president of the church did the same with the General Authorities. J. Golden Kimball was placed on the Democratic side. He did not want to be a Democrat, but relented because he wanted to be obedient.” (The J. Golden Kimball Stories, p. 66)

“Golden was scheduled to speak at the Tabernacle but showed up at the Assembly Hall (the building just south of the Tabernacle on Temple Square) by mistake. He unwittingly walked in on a big meeting of the Utah Republicans.

“Senator (and Apostle) Reed Smoot was conducting. He knew that Golden wasn’t a Republican but a good Democrat. The senator thought he’d have a little fun with his fellow General Authority. Smoot brought the gavel down on the podium.

“‘We’re very happy to welcome all of you here to this Republican state convention. We’re especially delighted to see Brother J. Golden Kimball of the First Council of Seventy. This represents a change in his political affiliation. Would you give the opening prayer, Brother Kimball?’

“Realizing his mistake, Golden jumped up like he’d been shot. ‘I’ll pass on that, Reed. I’d just as soon the Lord didn’t know I was here.’” (J. Golden Kimball Stories, p. 87)

Another version of the story states, “Finally, after a third call, J. Golden stood up and said, ‘Look, I don’t mind if you all know I’m here, but I sure as hell don’t want God to know I am.’” (The J. Golden Kimball Stories, p. 66).

Yup, same basic punchline, different versions of the same story.

Mormon Life,   p. 17
2-Book Set    Click Here!

2-Book Set Click Here!