November 8

“When my sister Mary’s car was stolen, my other sister, Joan, went looking for it, praying for guidance to locate it. Early the next morning Joan found the car in a weedy, vacant lot in the city. Joan got on her cell phone and called the police. Finally a policeman showed up. After a few preliminary questions, the officer said, ‘How did you know where to find this car?’

“Joan replied, ‘Heavenly Father led me here to this lot,’ Joan replied.

“The officer paused, pen poised over his notebook. ‘And you want me to put that in my report?’” (Mormon Mishaps and Mischief, pp. 58-59).

* * * * *

Plop! The drip fell from the ceiling onto an unsuspecting sister in the Sunday School class. A member of the stake presidency looked at a higher-ranking church leader in the room. In a voice loud enough to be hard by all, he said, “You’ve got the keys. Make it stop.”

The higher-ranking leader looked at the drip and with lightning wit said, “Yes, but the keys I have are to the mechanical room.” (Mormon Mishaps and Mischief, p. 68)

* * * * *

A mother was worried because her teenage daughter had been calling a certain boy too often, so she posted a sign by her cell phone: “Is this call necessary?”

The next day a sign appeared next to the mother’s sign: “How do I know until I’ve made the call?” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 175).

* * * * *

Senator Reed Smoot had the distinction of being the only man in the history of the Mormon Church who was not only a United States senator but also a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.

Before Brother Smoot was called to the Twelve, he and Golden always enjoyed friendly bouts of verbal sparring. Sometimes it was politics. Sometimes it was religion.

Then Senator Smoot was called to the Quorum of Twelve Apostles. Soon after, Golden ran into him and said, “Reed, if I’d been on better speaking terms with the Lord, I would have warned him about you.” (More J. Golden Kimball Stories, pp. 51-52)

Mission Mania , p. 32

Mission Mania, p. 32