December 10

Too many conference tickets. It’s not usually a problem for most people, but Bishop Gibson ended up with a few extra. Thinking there might be some people waiting outside the conference center hoping to get tickets at the last minute, he called in his two sons.

“Would you boys please take these tickets down to the conference center?” their dad asked. “I’m sure there are people who would love to have them.”

The boys took the tickets, and hurried down to the conference center.

“Conference tickets for sale,” they called out. “Five dollars each!”

It wasn’t quite what their Dad had in mind. It was probably the first time that Conference tickets were sold by scalpers. (Mormon Mishaps and Mischief, by D.N. Giles and C.L. Beck, p. 21)

* * * * *

A three-year-old boy was sitting on his grandmother’s lap looking through a catalog in search of new pajamas. When the grandmother recommended he get a pair of pajamas with feet, he responded, “That’s okay Grandma, I already have feet.” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 45)

* * * * *

You have probably read the Book of Mormon if:

You call your laptop computer your Liahona.

You’ve ever considered that The Book of Mormon sounds much better than Mormon’s Book.

You’re glad your parents didn’t name you after Mohanri Moriancumr. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 55, 56)

* * * * *

Will Rogers: Live in your families, so that you would not be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip. (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 89)

* * * * *

J. Golden Kimball was on Church business and was waiting in a train station. He had some extra time, so he went in to have a cup of coffee. Two other General Authorities on some other business happened to come in as J. Golden was sitting there drinking his coffee, and he had to think of something fast, so he just asked them if they would like to join him for a cup of Postum.

He went over and ordered them coffee so that it would look just like his. The general authorities, never having tasted Postum or coffee, drank it and never knew the difference. (The J. Golden Kimball Stories, by Eric A. Eliason, p. 79)

Mormon Life , p. 39

Mormon Life, p. 39

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