December 13 Humor

During fast and testimony meeting one Sunday, a three-year-old boy went up to the pulpit and said, “I want to bury my testimony.” (Mormon Mishaps and Mischief, by D.N. Giles and C.L. Beck, p. 26)

* * * * *

A sixteen-year-old young man brought a non-member friend to Sacrament Meeting. The Bishop announced that the first speaker would be Brother Johnson, a member of the Ward. The non-member asked his member friend, “What does that mean?”

The member replied, “Oh, it means Brother Johnson is going to give a talk today.”

Brother Johnson stood at the pulpit, looked at the congregation and opened his Bible.

“What does that mean?” asked the non-member.

“That means he is going to preach from the Bible,” the young man responded.

Then, Brother Johnson took off his wrist watch and placed it on the pulpit.

“What does that mean?” asked the non-member friend.

“It doesn’t mean a thing!” the young man replied. (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 53)

* * * * *

If you received a Dear John letter while serving a mission:

Be glad you’re out of town and will miss the reception.

Be thankful she didn’t come and tell you face to face.

Be appreciative that you have no further commitments to a girl with such lousy taste. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 56)

* * * * *

A wealthy family hired a professional genealogist to trace their lineage. After a few months, the genealogist discovered that one ancestor had been hanged for stealing horses. Not wanting to embarrass the family, the genealogist reported, “John died suddenly 8 June 1812 when the platform on which he was standing, gave way.” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 93)

* * * * *

There is a restaurant located on Center Street in Provo where the walls are completely covered with signatures and quotes about how delicious the food is there. J. Golden Kimball ate there once and wrote a message on the wall that says, “Best damn food I ever ate---J. Golden Kimball.” (The J. Golden Kimball Stories, by Eric A. Eliason, p. 84)

Mormon Life,  p. 43

Mormon Life, p. 43

Come Unto Me Statue    Click Here!

Come Unto Me Statue Click Here!