December 14

An older man was trying to be friendly to a small Primary child. “Everyone is so nice in this Ward. Don’t you think so?” he asked the young boy.

Thinking for a few seconds, the boy answered, “All but one man.”

“Who don’t you like?” the elderly gentleman asked.

The young boy pointed at the Ward Clerk and said, “That man.”

“Why don’t you like him?” inquired the elderly man.

“Well, every Sunday while we’re singing, he walks up to the front of the chapel and then as he walks to the back, he stops and writes the names of everyone not singing.” (Mormon Mishaps and Mischief, by D.N. Giles and C.L. Beck, p. 27)

* * * * *

“When my brother was young,” said a Relief Society President, “he thought that Relief Society was my mother’s relief from the children at home.” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 59)

* * * * *

If you are pulled over for speeding:

Be glad you don’t need an ambulance.

Be thankful everyone doesn’t drive like you do.

Be appreciative of the fresh air when you roll down the window for your ticket. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 56)

* * * * *

Orson F. Whitney: One of our “Mormon” boys out on a mission was confronted by someone in the group. He had just been preaching that the Father and the Son appeared to Joseph Smith, when a voice rang out: “No man hath seen God at any time.” The boy had his wits about him, and said, “Of course not,” said he, “God is a business man---you can’t see him at any time; you have to make a special appointment with him (Conference Report, Oct. 1924, 22). (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 94)

* * * * *

J. Golden arrived at the Tabernacle in St. George one Sunday and found that the hall was nearly empty. Instead of giving his talk, he went in search of the congregation. He found them at a local ball field, about to watch a baseball game. J. Golden calmly walked out to the pitcher’s mound, and the crowd, realizing who it was, fell silent. So, Golden preached his sermon right there from the pitcher’s mount. When he finished, he yelled, “play ball” and climbed back into the stands to watch the game. (The J. Golden Kimball Stories, by Eric A. Eliason, p. 91)

Mormon Life , p. 44

Mormon Life, p. 44