December 15

The counselor in the bishopric was conducting and looked over the audience and said, “We’d like to welcome all of our visitors. The rest of you might look strange, but I don’t believe you are strangers.” (Mormon Mishaps and Mischief, by D.N. Giles and C.L. Beck, p. 52)

* * * * *

Last week in the Laurel class, the lesson was entitled, “The Rich Young Man,” and the reading assignment was “One Thing Thou Lackest.” The next week, the Young Women President asked if anyone in the class remembered what they had studied last week. One young lady repeated, “One Thing Thou Lackest–A Rich Young Man!” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 59)

* * * * *

If there are weevil in your food storage:

Be glad that the crackers were too stale to eat anyway.

Be thankful for flour sifters.

Be appreciative that something is finally receiving nourishment from eating your wheat.

(Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 57)

* * * * *

A merchant was carrying some goods to market in his wagon. On the way he met a beggar trudging along with a heavy pack on his shoulders. The merchant felt sorry for him and asked him to get into the wagon.

As they rode on in silence, the merchant noticed that the beggar was sitting with his pack still on his shoulders.

“Why don’t you put your pack down?” he asked.

“Bless you,” said the man, “it’s enough that you are carrying me! I do not want to burden you with my pack also.” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 97)

* * * * *

Somebody said, “Brother Golden, people always laugh at you. Do you intend to be funny?”

“No, I don’t. I don’t expect to say those things, they just come out.” replied Golden. “Take Brother Ballard, for instance. Now he can say the same thing I do and people like it. He can get up and say,’Brothers and sisters, I have not prepared a sermon for you today. The Lord will put the words into my mouth, and only the Lord has an ideas to the message that I will bring.’ And then he’ll go ahead and preach a fine sermon. I can get up and say the same thing: ‘Brothers and sisters, God only knows what I’m going to tell you!’” (The J. Golden Kimball Stories, by Eric A. Eliason, p. 92)

Mormon Life  , p. 46