December 2

“How many of you have read chapter twenty-nine of Matthew?” Everyone raised their hands.

“Fine, this is the right group. My topic is lying, and there is no chapter twenty-nine in Matthew.(G-Rated Jokes and Other Rarities by Alma Heaton, p. 73)

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Upon returning home from Church, a mother told her young daughter to change out of her “good” clothes. Puzzled, she pointed at her everyday clothes and asked, “Are these my ‘naughty’ ones?” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 40)

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Comments you will never hear at a Ward potluck dinner:

Smoking or non-smoking?

How big of a tip should we leave?

We should do this every night. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 46)

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Because David O. McKay and his wife Emma Ray lived the ideals of the Church in their home, spiritual things came naturally to their children. Typical of this is the experience of one of their sons when he was a small boy.

One day he was visiting his grandfather’s home while spring house cleaning and re-papering of the rooms were in progress. The little fellow stood in a doorway watching the work and attracted the attention of a workman who asked him, “When you are a man, would you like to be a painter and paper-hanger?”

Without hesitation, the child answered, “No, sir.”

The workman then asked, “Then what would you like to be?”

The boy replied seriously, “I should like to be a ‘Twelve Apostle’” (Morrell, Highlights in the Life of President David O. McKay, 42). (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 75)

* * * * *

In his last years, J. Golden met a friend in the street who said to him, “How are you, Golden? How are you getting along?”

“Well to tell the truth, I’m not doing so good. Getting old and tired. You know, Seth, I’ve been preaching this gospel nigh onto sixty years now, and I think it’s time for me to get over on the other side to find out how much of what I’ve been saying is true.” (The J. Golden Kimball Stories, by Eric A. Eliason, p. 70)

So, You’re a Primary Teacher!

So, You’re a Primary Teacher!