December 20

One fast Sunday as sacrament meeting drew to a close, a little boy rubbed his growling tummy. Leaning toward his father, the boy whispered, “Dad, why does fast Sunday always go so slow?” (Mormon Mishaps and Mischief, by D.N. Giles and C.L. Beck, p. 59)

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Brother Johnson was the first male teacher in his Ward Primary. After three weeks of teaching, a mother of one of Brother Johnson’s students asked her son, “How do you like your new teacher?”

“I don’t know, Mom,” he replied. “She keeps sending her husband.” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 65)

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If your retirement plan’s value just dropped 40 percent:

Be glad that you’re not the type to retire anyway.

Be thankful there wasn’t very much money in it to begin with.

Be appreciative of how many extra years of paychecks you will get to earn. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 57)

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A woman lost her handbag in the shopping mall and was delighted when an honest young boy returned it to her several hours later. As she looked through her wallet, she did notice one odd thing. “Strange,” she said, “When I lost the purse, there was a ten-dollar bill in it. Now I notice there are ten one-dollar bills.”

“That’s true, ma’am,” said the boy. “The last time I found a person’s wallet, he didn’t have any change to give me for a reward.” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 104)

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One time as J. Golden was preaching the sermon of a deceased man, the man for whom he thought he was preaching walked in and sat down on the back row. Elder Kimball stopped, turned, and said, “Bishop, just who the hell’s funeral is this?” (The J. Golden Kimball Stories, by Eric A. Eliason, p. 94)

Mormon Life , p. 48

Mormon Life, p. 48