December 23

Hoping to impress upon Ward members the need to keep their chapels tidy, Bishop Wall reminded them that the Church had asked members to help care for the buildings.

“Clean up after yourselves. If there is trash on the floor or on the benches, pick it up as you leave Sacrament Meeting,” he said.

Then he continued, “I tried to call General Mills to have them ban Cheerios, but they haven’t gotten back to me yet.” (Mormon Mishaps and Mischief, by D.N. Giles and C.L. Beck, p. 71)

* * * * *

A grandmother, Sister Nettles, was visiting with some of her married granddaughters. They were talking about the challenges of raising children. Sister Nettles told them, “Children are the salt of the earth. And as everyone knows, salt can give you high blood pressure.” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 67)

* * * * *

Question: “Why are we told to sit quietly in class when the Bishop keeps telling us to stay active?” (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 64)

* * * * *

As Marion G. Romney began his law practice, he started to worry about whether or not he could live the standards of the gospel and practice law at the same time. He remembered the story of a man who was walking through a cemetery and stopped to read a headstone which read, “Here lies John Brown, a lawyer, and an honest men.”

Whereupon the man commented, “I wonder why they buried all three of them in the same grave.” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 108)

* * * * *

After a church meeting, a sister approached J. Golden saying, “Brother Kimball, you know about soil. Can you come take a look at my garden? I can’t get anything to grow.” J. Golden went to the sister’s home and kicked around in the poor soil in her garden, and then said, “Well, what can I do for you sister?”

“Couldn’t you say a prayer and ask for a miracle so my crops will grow?”

“Sister, you don’t need a miracle, you need manure.” (The J. Golden Kimball Stories, by Eric A. Eliason, p. 98)

Mormon Life , p. 52

Mormon Life, p. 52