December 26

The family of a premature baby chose to bless their child at home rather than at church. As family and friends gathered, the sleep-deprived father stood in the front of the room.

“We’d like to thank everyone for coming to help us celebrate the birth and blessing of our baby. I want to introduce Bishop Taylor, who will be residing here today.”

Putting a hand on the shoulder of the exhausted father, the Bishop proclaimed, “Actually, I’ll be presiding here today. And though I already have a home, I appreciate that you have offered to let me move into this beautiful home of yours.” (Mormon Mishaps and Mischief, by D.N. Giles and C.L. Beck, p. 74)

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Soon expecting another child, Sister Powell said to her four-year-old son, “Would you like to have a brother or a sister?”

Austin thought about it and then said, “I’d rather have a pony.” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 68)

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Questions a Sunday School Teacher dreds:

“After the flood, where did all the water go?” (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 64)

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In 1858, Abraham Lincoln was debating against Stephen A. Douglas, his opponent in a campaign for the U.S. Senate. Not only was Lincoln not as great an orator as Douglas, he was also not what one would call a handsome man. At one point Douglas accused Lincoln of being two-faced.

Lincoln replied, “I leave it to my audience. If I had two faces, would I be wearing this one?” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 112)

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J. Golden Kimball was riding on a stagecoach somewhere in Missouri. A group of men were riding along with him, and they began to complain about the Mormons. One man said he hated the Mormons with a passion, thus he was going to Texas to get away from them. Another man said he was going to Kentucky to get away from the Mormons. And finally, a third man said he was going to Boston to get away from all the “blank” Mormons. J. Golden Kimball then spoke up and said, “Why don’t you all just go to hell because there won’t be any Mormons there.” (The J. Golden Kimball Stories, by Eric A. Eliason, p. 103)

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