December 28

Brother Skipton looked around the chapel, fear showing on his face. Where was Dex? Not in the primary room, not in the boys’ bathroom, and not on the bench with his sisters. Brother Skipton was suppose to be watching the children while his wife sang in the choir. The young father sat down, anxiety causing sweat to break out on his forehead.

The microphone creaked as the Bishop pulled it to his level, “We’d like to welcome...”

Brother Skipton couldn’t stand it. Leaping to his feet, he cried out, “Bishop, stop! I can’t find my son!”

The Ward collectively sucked in their breath, and the silence of tragedy fell on the group.

Then a little voice, coming from a dark head that could barely be seen up in the choir seats, called out, “I’m up here.” Everyone turned to see Dex waving to his father from the choir seats. (Mormon Mishaps and Mischief, by D.N. Giles and C.L. Beck, p. 77)

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Years ago when Brother Carl Cordingley was young and unable to read, he sat by his mother in Sacrament Meeting. Pointing to the EXIT sign, Carl asked his mother, “What does that sign say?

She answered, “Quiet.”

Brother Cordingley then said, “Until I learned to read, whenever I saw that sign, I thought it meant I was to be quiet.” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 69)

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Questions that Sunday School Teachers Dread:

“During the millennium, will people who are resurrected be able to date people who aren’t?” (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 64)

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At a White House reception during the Civil War, one of the visitors shook the President’s hand and told him solemnly that the future of the country depended on God and Abraham Lincoln.

“You are half right,” responded the president. (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 112)

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J. Golden once spoke in a sacrament meeting with a stack of papers in his hand. He got worked up about his subject, which was exhorting the members to obey the commandments, and he waved the stack of papers around. Then he said, “You may be wondering, brothers and sisters, what this stack of papers is that I keep waving around. Well, I will tell you. It is the Lord’s “naughty” list, and all of your names are on it.” (The J. Golden Kimball Stories, by Eric A. Eliason, p. 106)

Mormon Life , p. 54

Mormon Life, p. 54