December 31

Jessica sat in the front foyer of the Salt Lake Temple with her parents, anxiously awaiting the arrival of her husband-to-be. As the minutes ticked by, she grew increasingly more apprehensive.

Finally, just before the scheduled sealing, Mike, who had never been to the Salt Lake Temple before, appeared in the foyer, breathless and flustered.

“What happened?” Jessica quickly asked.

“I was in a rush to be on time, so I tried to enter the temple on the east side of the building.” Mike said. “There were a pair of doors with golden doorknobs, and when I tried to turn them, they were locked!”

Mike took a deep, calming breath. “A kind woman said to me, ‘You’re not going to get in through there, dear,’ and took me around to another entrance.”

It wasn’t until later that Mike learned those doors were sealed tight and would only be opened for one event–the Second Coming of the Savior. (Mormon Mishaps and Mischief, by D.N. Giles and C.L. Beck, p. 86)

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Having a discussion with his wife about their family budget, Brother Hayes asked her, “Where does all the grocery money go?”

Sister Hayes replied, “I’ll give you one hint. Stand sideways and look in the mirror.” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 71)

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Questions that Sunday School Teachers Dread:

“If hot drinks are not good for the body, can we drink coffee if it is cold?”

“If you are lost and dying of thirst in a hot desert and find a can of beer, should you drink it?” (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 64)

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When the Primary Children’s Hospital was being built during the 1940s, the “Buy-a-Brick” campaign was one of the successful fund-raising drives. Each Primary child was asked to contribute ten cents to buy a brick for the hospital. The drive raised more than $20,000, which was used to buy 203,303 bricks and mortar.

One day when a Primary board member was leading a tour of children through the finished building, a little boy asked her, “Lady, can you tell me which brick is mine?” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 118)

* * * * *

J. Golden was said to have complained about the invention of the telephone because before, when he would speak in a town and say a few things he shouldn’t have over the pulpit, it would take a few days to get back to the brethren. By then he could find a way out of the trouble he caused. But with the telephone, the bad news would reach Salt Lake before he could even get back there by train. (The J. Golden Kimball Stories, by Eric A. Eliason, p.108)

Mormon Life , p. 59

Mormon Life, p. 59