December 4

The new Bishop nervously stood to announce the sacrament hymn. Luckily for him, only a few people noticed the mistake when he said, “We will sing number 177, ‘Tis Sweet to Sing the Mattress Love.’” (Mormon Mishaps and Mischief, by D.N. Giles and C.L. Beck, p. 3)

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A daughter was very young when her parents took her to visit Niagara Falls one afternoon. When this family returned to this scenic sight early the next morning, this daughter questioned, “Mom, did they let it run all night long?” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 42)

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You have probably read the Book of Mormon if:

The names of your two feisty guinea pigs are Laman and Lemuel.

You know how one man could have 2,000 sons.

Your favorite explorer was a man named Hagoth. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 54)

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A driver tucked this note under the windshield wiper of his automobile: “I’ve circled the block for twenty minutes. I’m late for an appointment, and if I don’t park here, I’ll lose my job. ‘Forgive us our trespasses.’”

When he came back, he found a parking ticket and this note: “I’ve circled this block for twenty years, and if I don’t give you a ticket, I’ll lose my job. ‘Lead us not into temptation.’” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 82)

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One morning while Elder Kimball was walking with his companion in the Southeastern States mission, they found themselves confronting a priest. As they approached the priest, he greeted the two missionaries by saying, “Good morning, you sons of the devil.” Elder Kimball replied with a smile, “Why, good morning...father!” (The J. Golden Kimball Stories, by Eric A. Eliason, p. 75)

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