December 6

At the baptism of a family member, six-year-old John became overly agitated when the divider was opened and the full baptismal font was revealed for all to see. When his mother sought out the reason for his distress, he cried, “I didn’t even bring my swimming suit. Why didn’t you tell me they had a pool at the church?” (Mormon Mishaps and Mischief, by D.N. Giles and C.L. Beck, p. 5)

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One evening when a nephew was visiting his aunt and uncle, they looked at the bright white moon for a few minutes. Later, when the TV was playing, the weather man said that it was going to be a ‘blue moon.’ To this statement, the nephew said to his aunt and uncle, “I guess that he doesn’t know his colors very well.” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 43)

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You have probably read the Book of Mormon if:

You would choose a padlock and key over a secret combination.

You missed a question on your history test when, instead of answering “Aztecs,” you wrote “Lamanites.”

You know that Moroni 10:4 isn’t a trucker’s sign-off. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 54)

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A man was mountain climbing when he stumbled and fell over the edge of a cliff. He grabbed onto a thin tree branch and hung there in midair. He’d never been a praying man, but now, frightened, he looked up to heaven and called, “Is anybody up there?”

A peaceful voice came to him, “Yes, my son. Let go of the branch, and I will save you.”

The man paused a moment, then asked, “ anyone else up there?” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 84)

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One of the brethren said to J. Golden Kimball, “When you die, there will never be another like you in the Church.”

Uncle Golden replied, “Yes, and I am sure that is a great comfort to you.” (The J. Golden Kimball Stories, by Eric A. Eliason, p. 76)

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