December 9

When the Johnson family moved from one town to another, one of their young sons protested to their mother, “But, Mom, we won’t have our bench in church.”

“Well, it’s not really our bench,” she said. “We were just used to sitting in that one place when we went to Sacrament Meeting.”

“Yes, it is our bench,” Zack insisted.

“Yeah, it is,” Brian agreed.

She shook her head. “No, boys, it’s not. It doesn’t have our name on it.”

“Yes, it does!” they chorused.

Mom’s eyes widened. “Where?” she said, dreading the answer.

“Underneath!” said Brian. Zack nodded. “We crawled under there one day and wrote our name under the bench, so it really is ours.” (Mormon Mishaps and Mischief, by D.N. Giles and C.L. Beck, p. 15)

* * * * *

As a mother and father were looking at new cars, the mother said to her husband, “It sure would be great to get a mini-van.”

Upon hearing that, their two-year-old son asked, “Can we get a Mickey-van, too?” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 44)

* * * * *

You have probably read the Book of Mormon if:

You know what a rameumpton is even though you’ve never seen one.

You’ve ever drawn a picture of the tree of life.

You know where a hill named Cumorah is. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 55)

* * * * *

Emily was an only child and badly wanted a sister or brother. She prayed night after night that God would send one to her home. Nothing changed, so at length she gave up praying for that particular blessing. Some time later, her mother learned she was expecting. When she went to the hospital, she gave birth to, not one baby, but twins. When Emily heard the news, she exclaimed, “Well, it is a good thing I stopped praying when I did!” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 88)

* * * * *

While at a restaurant with his companion, both ordered hot chocolate with their food. Afer the waitress left, J. Golden excused himself to go to the bathroom and slips back into the kitchen and tells them to switch his hot chocolate for coffee. He comes back and sits down, and a few minutes later the waitress comes with their rood and asks, “Now which one of you wanted the coffee?

J. Golden pipes up, “Hell, Elder, if you wanted coffee, why didn’t you say so? I’ll have some with you!” (The J. Golden Kimball Stories, by Eric A. Eliason, p. 78)

Mormon Life,  p. 41

Mormon Life, p. 41