Question: How are bishops chosen?

Answer: The stake leaders find the most righteous, most spiritual most loved person in the ward---and then they call her husband” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 27).

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J. Golden Kimball.jpg

Spring City [Utah] had a bishop who was a very mild, reserved, gentlemanly kind of fellow.  The Relief Society president, however, was a different story.

Sister Brown was essentially running the ward.  She was telling the bishop who was paying a full tithing and who should be called on missions, what young men shouldn’t be going because they were fornicators and smoked, and who should not be called to serve in the Sunday School because the y had never returned the tools they had borrowed from their neighbor.

Several members of the ward could see the poor bishop was in over his head, They wrote to President [Heber J.] Grant begging him to send somebody to fix their problem.

President Grant sent Golden [Kimball].

When Golden arrived, he interviewed both the bishop and Sister Brown.  He then asked for just a few minutes in Sacrament meeting.

At the close of the meeting Golden was called to speak. “I want to ask you all a question.  Would you please show by the raise of hands: How many of you have ever had a sliver in your a**?”

One little girl who’d recently gotten one going down a slippery slide raised her hand. Slowly other people started raising theirs.

Good---you know you need somebody else to help you take it out.  You can’t do it by yourself.  Well, that’s why I’m here.  You have a sliver in you’re a**, brothers and sisters, and I’m here to help you take it out.

Now, all who can release Sister Brown as the Relife Society president, would you do so by the usual sign? Are There any opposed?  Good.  Thank you” (J. Golden Kimball Stories, p. 46-47).

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It was time for sacrament meeting to begin and a mother couldn’t find her son.  She searched all through the meetinghouse then she looked outside.  Finally she found him sitting on the curb with his head in his hands, "Son, we have to go in now," she said.  "Church is about to start."

“I don’t want to," he said.

“Why not?"

“Because nobody likes me.  Nobody care if I’m there or not.  I’ll bet you can’t give me one good reason why I should."

“Oh, yes, I can," said the mother. "You’re the bishop”  (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 26).