“When Brother B. H. Roberts, president of the First Quorum of Seventy, died in 1933, the family asked that Uncle Golden dedicated the grave.
“The burial was planned to be in Centerville, Utah. The Cemetery there had fallen on hard times: lots of weeds, over-grown grass, picket fences falling down. It was a pathetic sight with headstones sticking up willy-nilly among the brambles.
“Friends and family gathered around the grave for the dedication ceremony. Golden took his place at the head of the grave and looked around at the sad little cemetery.
“‘Before I dedicate this grave, I want to say something. This is one hell of a place to bury one of the Lord’s anointed.’
“He then offered the dedicatory prayer.
“Some of the city fathers were there, and Golden’s comments shamed them into action. They appropriated money to repair the picket fence, clear out the weeds, and put in new grass. Today, the Centerville Cemetery is a place of beauty and a source of civic pride” (More J. Golden Kimball Stories, p. 112).
* * * * *
When it came to money, Brother Phelps was a real miser. He didn’t trust banks, and he kept most of his money in paper bags under his bed.
After several years went by, Brother Phelps became old and feeble, and this affected his thinking. He said to his wife, “I don’t believe I will be here much longer on this earth. When I die, I am going to take my money with me.”
Being old herself, Sister Phelps’ thinking was not as good as it was a few years earlier. So, she said to her husband, “How are you going to take your money with you?”
He replied, “ I have taken the bags up in the attic. When I die, my spirit will grab them on the way up to heaven.”
Two weeks later, Brother Phelps died at home. After the funeral was over and family and friends stopped visiting with Sister Phelps, she remembered what her husband had told her about the money.
Slowly she walked the stairs to the attic. After finding and opening the paper bags of money, Sister Phelps shook her head and said, “I told that old miser he should have put them in the basement” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, p. 61-62).
* * * * *
Mark Twain once went to a dinner party where the chief subject of conversation was heaven and hell. Twain sat in silence throughout the conversation. Finally a woman asked, “Why do you not say anything? I would like to hear your opinion.”
“Madam, you must excuse me,” Twain replied. “I am silent of necessity---I have friends in both places” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 69-70).