Signs that you need to be released from the nursery

10. All your sentences are less than four words long.

9. You catch a cold at least once a month.

8. You can’t do anything lasting three hours without taking a break for playtime.

7. Your clothes are all worn out from sitting on the floor.

6. You refer to your father as dada.

5. Your chiropractor has informed you that your chronic back pain is from bending over too much.

4. You are addicted to graham crackers.


3. You get upset when someone wants you to share your toys.

2. You know the names of only twenty people in your ward and twelve of them are babies.

1. You sign all your checks with a crayon. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, p. 4).

* * * * *

“A sister once asked Golden, ‘Why do you swear so much? President Grant doesn’t swear. Have you ever heard President Grant swear in all your life?’

“The sister looked very surprised when he said, yes, he had. ‘What do you mean?’ she demanded, unwilling to believe any such thing.

“Golden told her this story to prove he was right:

“‘President Grant and I were down in St. George one summer. It hadn’t rained for months. On our way out of St. George to Cedar City we stopped. All over the valley we saw the simmering heart, the withering crops and the dying cattle.

“‘Finally, I said, ‘Look at that, Heber.’

“‘He said, ‘Yes, look at it.’

“‘And I said, ‘It’s a damn shame, isn’t it!’

“‘And he said, ‘Yes, it is.’” (J. Golden Kimball Stories, p. 68-69).