September 11

“Golden contracted yellow fever on his mission and almost died. B.H. Roberts, who was the acting mission president, came to see him. He said, ‘Brother Kimball, you look really ill. You ought to go home.’

“Golden looked simply awful, but he put the best face on the situation. ‘Hell, I’ve always looked this way. I appreciate your concern, but I’d prefer to stay.’

“Roberts said, ‘Well, Brother Kimball, it’s an economic consideration: if we can send you home alive, it costs us $53.18. If you die on us, it’s $112.42.’

“Golden responded, ‘I want to stay, Elder Roberts. If I die, I will pay the difference!’” (J. Golden Kimball Stories, p. 16).

* * * * *

An elderly sister passed away having never been married. On top of her dresser was a paper with complete instructions for her funeral---the songs, the speakers, the prayers. At the bottom, as a special addendum, was the following note: “You will have no male pallbearers. Since they wouldn’t take me out when I was alive, they can’t take me out when I’m dead” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p.68).

* * * * *

A boy sold into Egypt long ago,

Grew up and taught a lesson you must know.

When temptations make sinning seem fun,

Be wise as was Joseph, just turn and run.

(Latter-day Wit and Wisdom, p. 48).