A J. Golden Kimball Story, an earthquake, and Lot's wife

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While in Kanab for a conference, Golden delivered his usual talk but his eye kept straying to a certain man on the back row, and he thought, “He’s my kind of guy. He’s going to come up and talk to me, I know he is.” Sure enough, when the meeting was over, he came up. Golden knew he was his kind of man because all he had on was a loincloth and moccasins and a long beard.

After the talk the man patiently waited for the crowd around Golden to thin before he stepped forward and put his hand out and said, “Brother Kimball. I’m not active in the Church.”

Golden looked at the man’s unusual attire. “I gathered that. What’s your problem?”

He said, “Well, it’s very simple. My problem is I don’t believe the Old Testament to be the word of God. I don’t believe Jonah could live in the belly of a whale for three days,”

Golden said, “That’s one hell of a reason for not being active. That’s enough to take me out of activity, I tell you.” But the man was very serious and didn’t understand Golden’s good natured ribbing.

So Golden sighed and said, “Look, I’ll make you a deal. I’m soon going to die and I’ll get over on the other side and I’ll look up Jonah and find out how the hell he did it. You stay active until I get back.” The man thought it over and said, “It’s a deal.” They shook hands on it.

Golden was informed later by the bishop that the man became active and was teaching Sunday School. He even gave up his loincloth for a suit (J. Golden Kimball Stories, p. 35-37).

* * * * *

Recdntly there were tremors in a California town, and the townspeople got nervous. One couple sent their little boy to stay with an aunt and uncle in another town, explaining that the impending earthquake was the reason for the visit.

A few days later the parents got a short letter: “We’re returning your boy. Send the earthquake.” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 38)

* * * * *

A Primary teacher described how Lot’s wife looked back at Sodom and was turned into a pillar of salt.

Suddenly Jimmy interrupted, “My mother looked back once while she was driving the car, and she turned into a telephone pole!” (Stories & Jokes of Mormon Folks, p. 26)