January 1

One evening, as they gathered for their evening prayer, Dad asked six-year-old Cody to give the prayer. Just as everyone knelt, Cody said, “Wait, don’t anyone leave. I have to go get something.”

Cody’s older brother, anxious to get to his bedroom, moaned, and Mom shushed him with a warning look. A few seconds later, Cody walked back into the room and laid a head of lettuce gently on the floor in front of them.

“Sweetheart, that looks interesting, but why did you bring that in here?” his mother asked as Cody knelt down, closed his eyes, and folded his arms.

Cody opened one eye and looked at Mom, surprised at her question. “Because it’s like the song says---‘Lettuce gather in a circle, and kneel in family prayer.’” (Mormon Mishaps and Mischief, by D.N. Giles and C.L. Beck, p. 87)

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Speaking with her children who were attending college, Sister Brody encouraged them to complete their education.

She told them, “Don’t fail to get a good education while you are young. It will come in handy when you have to help your children with their homework.” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 71)

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Questions that Sunday School Teachers Dread:

“After the resurrection, will my dog Midge get to live with me, or is there a dog paradise that she has to go to?”

“If it is true that children are innocent until they are age eight, then why is my seven-year-old brother so mean?” (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 65)

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Two judges at a state fair couldn’t decide which of two bulls should win the blue ribbon. Finally they picked a young boy from the crowd and asked him to pick the winner. After the awards ceremony, they asked the boy how he arrived at his decision.

“I just chose the one I thought would give the best milk,” he said. (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 120)

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J. Golden Kimball was sent to southern Utah to supervise a stake conference, in the midst of a dry and hot southern Utah summer. As the time for his address approached, so did the noon hour and the ensuing heat. J. Golden got up to speak and (wiping the sweat from his face) said in his high-pitched voice, “This weather is unbearable. If I were the devil and owned hell and southern Utah, I’d live in hell and rent out southern Utah!”

The stake members were highly insulted and reported the event to President Heber J. Grant, demanding an apology from Brother Kimball. Under strict orders from President Grant to return and apologize to the Saints, J. Golden did return.

The weather, however, had not changed, and so in his most apologetic manner, J. Golden stood before the congregation and told them, “I am indeed sorry for any offense I may have caused any of you fine people. I certainly meant to do no harm to anyone’s feelings. But it is so damn hot down here that if I were the devil and owned hell and southern Utah, I would live in hell and rent out southern Utah!” (The J. Golden Kimball Stories, by Eric A. Eliason, p.108)

So, You’re a Primary Teacher!,  p. 56

So, You’re a Primary Teacher!, p. 56