January 26

A rooster was sitting on a fence on the border of Mexico and the USA. Its head was in the U.S. and its tail was in Mexico. If it laid an egg, where would it fall?

Roosters don’t lay eggs.

When was Rome built?

At night--because it wasn’t built in a day. (G-Rated Jokes and Other Rarities, by Alma Heaton, p. 29)

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A grandson, age 3, watched the weather go from rainy to sunny to rainy again within minutes. “Grandma,” he curiously asked, “does Heavenly Father use a remote control?” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 94)

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You are probably a BYU sports fan if:

Your first kiss was in the LaVell Edwards stadium.

When you were five-years old, you wanted to grow up to be Cosmo. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 84)

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Parley P. Pratt: I was soon ordered to prison, or to pay a sum of money which I had not in the world...The court adjourned, and I was conducted to a public house over the way, and locked in till morning; the prison being some miles distant. In the morning the officer appeared and took me to breakfast; this over, we sat waiting in the inn for all things to be ready to conduct me to prison.

After sitting awhile by the fire, I requested to step out. I walked out into the public square accompanied by the officer. Said I, “Mr. Peabody are you good at a race?” “No,” said he, “but my big bull dog is, and he has been trained to assist me in my office these several years; he will take any man down at my bidding.” “Well, Mr. Peabody, you compelled me to go a mile. I have gone with you two miles. You have given me an opportunity to preach, sing, and have also entertained me with lodging and breakfast. I must now go on my journey; if you are good at a race, you can accompany me. I thank you for your kindness---good day, sir.”

I then started on my journey, while he stood amazed and not able to step one foot before the other. Seeing this, I halted, turned to him and again invited him to a race. I then renewed my exertions, and soon increased my speed to something like that of a deer. . . He now came hallooing after me, and shouting to his dog to seize me. The dog, being one of the largest I ever saw, came close on my footsteps with all his fury; the officer behind still in pursuit, clapping his hands and hallooing, “stu-boy, stu-boy---take him---watch---lay hold of him, I say---down with him,” and pointing his finger in the direction I was running. The dog was fast overtaking me, and in the act of leaping upon me, when quick as lightening, the thought struck me, to assist the officer, in sending the dog with all fury to the forest a little distance before me. I pointed my finger in that direction, clapped my hands, and shouted in imitation of the officer. The dog hastened past me with redoubled speed towards the forest; being urged by the officer and myself, and both of us running in the same direction. Gaining the forest, I soon lost sight of the officer and dog, and have not seen them since (Autobiography, 36-39). (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 153)

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[J. Golden Kimball once said] I had a chance to meet Reverend Weatherby. He got up and spoke one night with me. He went on and on about how all the Mormons are going to hell if they don’t change their ways. He spoke for forty-two minutes. Finally, it was my turn to speak, and I got up and said, “I have only one thing to say. I would rather be a Mormon going to hell than not be a Mormon and not know where the hell I’m going.” (The J. Golden Kimball Stories, by Eric A. Eliason, p. 67)

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So, You’re a Primary Teacher! , p. 13

So, You’re a Primary Teacher!, p. 13