January 31

When a boy falls into the water, what is the first thing he does?

Gets soaking wet.

Why is life the greatest of all riddles?

We all have to give it up. (G-Rated Jokes and Other Rarities, by Alma Heaton, p. 32)

* * * * *

“I don’t think that I’m being too picky,” said the pretty young girl to her mother. “All I want is a nice man who loves and understands me. Is that too much to expect from a millionaire?” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 100)

* * * * *

Announcements you will never see in the Ward Bulletin:

Join us at noon in the cultural hall next Sunday for our annual Super Bowl party. Bring your favorite dish and a friend. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 87)

* * * * *

Our family went shopping for a larger family car last week. A salesman came over and said, “Take a look! They’re bigger than ever, and they last a lifetime.” Unfortunately he was talking about the payments, not the cars. (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 158)

* * * * *

J. Golden Kimball once owned two donkeys that constantly refused to work together. Instead, they would run off in different directions. Once when reflecting on these donkeys, J. Golden said, “It makes you wonder how Noah ever got two *** donkeys on the ark!” (The J. Golden Kimball Stories, by Eric A. Eliason, p. 62)

* * * * *

Mormon Life  , p. 51