January 7

Did you hear about the person who:

Saluted the ice box because he heard it was General Electric?

Stayed up all night studying for his blood test? (G-Rated Jokes and Other Rarities, by Alma Heaton, p. 14)

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A six-year-old boy was working diligently with his grandfather; they were digging up potatoes out of the garden. Finally, tiring of the whole project, the boy asked, “Grandpa, why did you bury these potatoes anyway?” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 76)

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You are probably a Latter-day Saint if:

On your first date, you dated a group.

You wanted to be a missionary before you even knew what a missionary was.

Your worship time at church is called a “block.” (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 72)

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A teacher, William Lyon Phelps, on a pre-Christmas examination paper, found written, “God only knows the answer to this question. Merry Christmas.”

He returned the paper with the notation, ‘God gets an A; you get an F. Happy New Year.” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 126)

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Mr. Tanner told a story about President Grant reprimanding J. Golden Kimball for the language he used in addressing the Saints. The day following the reprimand, a group of church dignitaries were sitting in the presiding bishop’s office, all giving Golden the dickens for talking that way. “Why doesn’t he cut out that stuff.” “Why can’t he be more refined.”

One of the Apostles spoke up and said, “What did Brother Ballard say in the meeting yesterday?”

Someone replied, “Well, I don’t remember just what he said, but I never heard such a fine talk.”

Then he said, “What did Golden say?” And they all remembered. (The J. Golden Kimball Stories, by Eric A. Eliason, p. 86)

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Mormon Life , p. 63

Mormon Life, p. 63