February 11

Teacher: So you want to learn to dance.

Student: Oh, no, I brought my friend. I learned yesterday.

Girl telling friend about the boy she was learning to dance with, “ He was not a very good conversationalist; all he could say was 1–2-3-4.” (G-Rated Jokes and Other Rarities, by Alma Heaton, p. 36)

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An Idaho farm boy went on a mission to Indiana. He wrote a letter to his parents, “I sure am enjoying missionary life. It is really nice to lie in bed every morning until 6 a.m.” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 10)

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You have probably never gambled if:

The only chips in your house are made out of potatoes.

None of your card games have clubs or diamonds. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 91)

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John Sonnenberg, a former member of the Second Quorum of the Seventy, told this story about his young family: At the time he was beginning his practice as a dentist, Sonnenbergs had seven young children and just one car. When his wife wanted to go anywhere, she and the children took the bus.

One day as she and the seven kids all boarded a bus, the driver, asked, “Lady, are these all your children, or is this a picnic?”

“Yes, they are all my children,” she answered, “and it is no picnic!” (Ensign, Nov. 1983, 36). (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 166)

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When Heber J. Grant called for the church to live the Word of Wisdom more faithfully, J. Golden’s wife would no longer allow him to fix his coffee at home. J. Golden would go downtown Salt Lake to a couple of different restaurants and have a cup of coffee. One time he was sitting in a back booth near the restrooms, a lady spied him and confronted him, saying, “Is that you Elder Kimball, drinking coffee?” J. Golden replied, “Ma’am, you are the third person who has mistaken me for that old ***!” (The J. Golden Kimball Stories, by Eric A. Eliason, p. 80)

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Mission Moments,  p. 40

Mission Moments, p. 40