February 23

Older gentleman: “Yes sir, I will be ninety tomorrow, and I haven’t an enemy in the world.”

Another gentleman: “That is a beautiful thought.”

Older gentleman: “Yes sir, I have outlived them all.” (G-Rated Jokes and Other Rarities, by Alma Heaton, p. 57)

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An acronym is formed from the initial letter or letters of each part of a compound term. With that in mind, consider some sentences that only members of the Church can decipher:

The YM and YW are putting on a play. (Young Men and Young Women)

I had a PPI last night. (Personal Priesthood Interview)

Today in BYC, we planned for EFY. (Bishop Youth Council and Especially for Youth) (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 116)

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You are probably a Bishop if:

You carry a heavier briefcase to church than to work.

Most Ward members have never seen you when you weren’t wearing a suit.

You were given two sets of keys, but you only use one set for the doors to the Church. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 96)

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Brigham Young: “Bring up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Soon it becomes “Bring up a child and away he goes.” So it is---we bring up children and away they go (Journal of Discourses 13:251-52). (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 175)

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On the 1938 conference tape, Elder J. Golden Kimball is introduced. He gets up and bears his testimony for several minutes, mentioning the celestial kingdom as the goal for all Latter-day Saints. In conclusion, Elder Kimball says, “As my father used to say, ‘If any of you make it, I’ll be surprised!’ in the name of Jesus, Amen.” (The J. Golden Kimball Stories, by Eric A. Eliason, p. 114)

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So, You’re a Bishop? , p. 36

So, You’re a Bishop?, p. 36