February 6

What trade does the sun follow?

Tanner.

Of what trade can it be said that all its members are men of letters?

Printer. (G-Rated Jokes and Other Rarities, by Alma Heaton, p. 33)

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Sister Hansen was speaking with her neighbor about birthday gifts for their husbands. She said, “I got a set of golf clubs for my husband.”

The neighbor responded, “Wow, I wonder how much I could get for my husband?” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 102)

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Comments you will never hear in a Young Women’s Meeting:

“I wish we couldn’t date until we are 18 instead of only 16.”

“I feel bad that the Elders Quorum never asks us to help move families into the Ward.” (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 90)

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N. Eldon Tanner told the story of an immigrant father who ran his business very simply, keeping his accounts payable in a shoe box, his accounts receivable on a spindle, and his cash in the cash register or the safe.

“I don’t see how you can run your business this way,” said the man’s son. “How do you know what your profit is?”

“Son,” answered his father, “when I got off the boat, I had only the pants I was wearing. Today your sister is an art teacher, your brother is a doctor, and you are an accountant. I have a car, a home, and a good business. Everything is paid for. So you add it all up, subtract the pants, and that is my profit (Durham, N. Eldon Tanner,286). (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 163)

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At the time the custom was instituted to have assistants to the Quorum of the Twelve, Elder J. Golden Kimball was asked what he thought of having these additional members assist the Quorum. He responded, “I don’t think it is a bad idea at all to have a few spares!” (The J. Golden Kimball Stories, by Eric A. Eliason, p. 75)

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So, You’re a Primary Teacher! , p. 6

So, You’re a Primary Teacher!, p. 6