March 13

The news article proclaimed that somewhere in Utah there is a woman having a baby every 18 minutes. The poor woman.

Families Are Forever: What it feels like on the fourth day of vacation.

Q: What happened when the Primary chorister bought snow tires?

A: In the sun they melted, melted, melted....

(MormonZone.com)

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After giving instructions to their teenage daughter, Brother and Sister Hatch were on their way out for the evening. The telephone rang, so Brother Hatch returned and answered it.

He listened for a moment and then said into the phone, “How on earth would I know? Why don’t you call the Coast Guard?”

Then he hung up the phone and started toward the front door.

“Who was that, dear?” Sister Hatch said.

“I haven’t the faintest idea,” he replied. “Some boy who wanted to know if the coast was clear.” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 135)

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Samuel the Lamanite’s mother when he was five years old: “Get down from there! That’s dangerous. How many times have I told you not to climb up on things?”

Captain Moroni in elementary school: “Mrs. Moriancum, I’ve run out of papyrus. Can I just write on my coat?” (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 107)

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J. Golden Kimball: I feel a good deal like the story I read the other day. Some fellow was sitting on the pier that reached out into the ocean–and he fell in, and he yelled, “Help! Help! I can’t swim.” An old fellow was sitting on the pier fishing said, “Neither can I, but I wouldn’t brag about it” (Conference Report, Oct. 1922,170) (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 200)

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J. Golden Kimball: There are men and women so mentally lazy that they hardly think for themselves. To think, calls for effort, which makes some tired and wearies their souls. (The Golden Legacy, A Folk History of J. Golden Kimball, by Thomas E. Cheney, p. 89)

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