March 16

The family was having four missionaries over for dinner. The father turned to his six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?"

"I don't know what to say," the girl replied.

"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife prompted.

So the daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these missionaries to dinner?"


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In a Priesthood meeting one Sunday, some of the grandfathers were concerned about how much time their teenage grandchildren were spending on their electronic devices.

One of them said, “There would be fewer problems with teenagers today if they had to chop wood to keep their electronic devices going.” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 136)

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You are probably a Latter-day Saint if:

You have a fourteen-year-old daughter who calls herself a Mia Maid, which, judging by her room, means “needs-a-maid.”

You know that a “conference address” doesn’t tell you what street it is on. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 109)

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H. David Burton: A ship’s captain saw what looked like the light of another ship heading toward him. He had his signalman blink to the other ship: “Change your course 10 degrees south.” The reply came back, “Change your course 10 degrees north.” The ship’s captain answered,: “I am a captain. Change your course south.” To which the reply came, “Well, I am a seaman first class. Change your course north.”

This so infuriated the captain that he signaled back, “I say change your course south. I am on a battleship!” To which the reply came back, “And I say change your course north. I am in the lighthouse.” (Ensign, May 1994,68). (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 202)

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A lady asked J. Golden Kimball if he believed in ghosts. He answered, “Hell no! I’ve seen too many of them to believe in them.” (The Golden Legacy, A Folk History of J. Golden Kimball, by Thomas E. Cheney, p. 92)

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Mission Moments , p. 68

Mission Moments, p. 68