March 19

A young lady came home from a date, rather sad. She told her mother, "Jeff proposed to me an hour ago."

"Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked.

"Because he told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a hell."

Her mother said, "Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is."

(MormonZone.com)

* * * * *

A teenage daughter said, “Dad, the Bishop wants me to give a 15-minute talk in Sacrament Meeting next Sunday.”

“That’s great, dear.”

“But Dad, I can’t talk for 15 minutes.”

Her father smiled and said, “Perhaps you can take your cell phone to the podium with you.” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 136)

* * * * *

You are probably a Latter-day Saint if:

You have ever been introduced to a total stranger as their brother.

You seldom buy expensive jewelry, but you do own a pearl of great price. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 110)

* * * * *

Oscar Levant is noted for his self-esteem. One time he told this story. “Once I was saying to an old friend how remarkable was our congeniality since we had practically nothing in common.

‘Oh, but we have,’ my friend replied. ‘I think you are wonderful, and you agree with me.’” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 203)

* * * * *

J. Golden Kimball in speaking about his call to become one of the Seven Presidents of the Seventies said, “The Lord knows I didn’t want the position; the Lord knows I balked when they called me; and I guess he knows I got the job. And now that I got it, He knows I’ll work like hell to do it the way He wants it done.” (The Golden Legacy, A Folk History of J. Golden Kimball, by Thomas E. Cheney, p. 99)

* * * * *