March 20

A young man went in to a candy store and asked for a large box of chocolates, a medium-sized box of chocolates, and a small box of chocolates. Surprised by the request, the store owner asked the young man what he was going to do with the chocolates.

"Well," said the young man, "I have a date tonight with a beautiful girl, and depending on how it goes I am going to give her a box of chocolates. If she holds my hand, I will give her the small box. If she holds my hand and hugs me goodnight, I will give her the medium-sized box. If she holds my hand and gives me a hug and a kiss goodnight, I will give her the large box." The store owner replied, "Well, okay if that is what you would like to do."

That night, the young man went to the girl's house to pick her up. After he met her parents, he said, "Let's begin by reading some scriptures." The girl was a bit surprised, but agreed to the request. After the scriptures, the young man said, "Now, let's have a word of prayer." Again, the girl was surprised, but agreed to the request. As they were driving away, the girls said, "I had no idea you were so religious." The young man responded, "I had no idea your dad owned a candy store." (MormonZone.com)

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Talking to her neighbor about shopping with her teenage daughter, Sister Kemp said, “She’s a girl with a great deal of faith.”

“That’s wonderful. Can you give me an example?”

Sister Kemp laughed. “Well, she believes she can fit a size 9 body in a size 7 dress.” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 137)

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You are probably a Latter-day Saint if:

Everyone makes a big deal out of your child’s eighth birthday and even drive halfway across the country to witness it.

You were ever made president of an organization without an election. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 110)

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While D’Annunzio was living in France, a letter was addressed to him simply with the words: “To Italy’s Greatest Poet.” He declined to accept it, stating that he was not Italy’s greatest poet, but that he was the “world’s” greatest poet. (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 203)

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J. Golden Kimball: “How many of us think of God thirty minutes out of twenty-four hours? There is probably not one out of five hundred who actually thinks of God and his Son Jesus Christ for thirty minutes a day. I try, but the first thing I know, my mind has wandered off on to something else.” (The Golden Legacy, A Folk History of J. Golden Kimball, by Thomas E. Cheney, p. 98)

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Do, You’re a Primary Teache r, p. 59

Do, You’re a Primary Teacher, p. 59