March 2

Matt was embarking on his flight in one of the newest in jet airliners. As he entered the sleek new jet, he was told by the loud speaker to get comfortable and fasten his seat belt, and that take off would be immediate.

After the jet had been airborne a few minutes, the thought came to him how nice everything was in the jet age when few things seem to go wrong. Just then the speaker blurted, “Welcome aboard ladies and gentlemen, this is a recording, we are flying pilotless, the newest thing in jet flying. All controls are manipulated by this recording, and we assure you nothing can go wrong...nothing can go wrong...nothing can go wrong.” (G-Rated Jokes and Other Rarities, by Alma Heaton, p. 73)

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Giving a lesson on prayer, the Mia Maid teacher gave various examples from the scriptures. Then she told of a prayer that one of her unmarried female cousins gave: “I ask nothing for myself, but my brother would surely appreciate a brother-in-law.” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 123)

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Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Moroni.

Moroni who?

I don’t know his last name. I was hoping you did. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 101)

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Heber C. Kimball: I stick to “Mormonism,” and I pray that it may stick to me (Journal of Discourses 3:231). (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 185)

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J. Golden Kimball: “When I was a boy, my father did most of the praying in the home, and when I got to manhood, I did not know how to pray...I did not know just how nor what to pray for. In fact, I did not know very much about the Lord, because my father died when I was fifteen years old, but I can remember how he prayed, and I have been sorry many times, that I can’t pray like my father did; for he seemed on those occasions to be in personal communication with God. There seemed to be a friendliness between my father and God, and when you heard him pray, you would actually think the Lord was right there, and that father was talking to him.” (The Golden Legacy, A Folk History of J. Golden Kimball, by Thomas E. Cheney, p. 15)

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