March 21

Q: Why was Goliath astonished when David hit him with a stone?

A: Because such a thing had never entered his head before.

Q: When Goliath is resurrected, should you tell him this joke?

A: No, he already fell for it once.

(MormonZone.com)

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Having turned thirteen the week before, a teenager said to his father, after Fast and Testimony Meeting, “Let’s hurry home and celebrate the feast of the fast over.” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 137)

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You are probably a Latter-day Saint if:

You have ever uttered the word “paradisiacal.”

You have ever attended a meeting to plan a meeting. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 110)

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One of Emerson’s rural neighbors at Concord borrowed a copy of Plato from him. “Did you enjoy the book?” asked Emerson when it was returned.

“I did at that,” replied his neighbor. “This Plato has a lot of MY ideas.” (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 204)

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J. Golden Kimball: “I may not have a perfect and true conception of God, but I love him for his perfection; I love him for his mercy; I love him for his justice; and notwithstanding my many weaknesses, I am not afraid to meet him. For I know that he will deal justly with me, and the great joy I will have is that he will understand me, and that is more than some seem to be able to do.” (The Golden Legacy, A Folk History of J. Golden Kimball, by Thomas E. Cheney, p. 100)

So, You’re a Primary Teacher! , p. 70

So, You’re a Primary Teacher!, p. 70