March 22

At a recent stake conference of the Chula Vista, California Stake, President Paul B. Duncan related the following story:

President Duncan explained how Saturday was a day to get things done around their house because of work, family and church responsibilities. Just a few weeks ago he and his youngest son Jeff, who is six years old, had just finished mowing the lawn and were putting things away.

President Duncan thought this would be a terrific opportunity to rest and spend a few minutes with Jeff. The two of them crawled up on the family's trampoline and gazed up into the blue sky.

With a puzzled look Jeff turned and asked, "Dad,...Why are we here?" President Duncan thought this would be great teaching opportunity so he explained how we are children of our Father in Heaven, how he has sent us here because he loves us and wants us to experience the things he has created for us, and how he wants us to serve one another, to learn, to grow and to develop those qualities that will allow us to return to live with Him some day.

President Duncan paused and asked if that had answered his question. Jeff responded, "Not really." President Duncan then began to think how else he might be able to answer the question when Jeff again asked, "Dad,...Why are we here?...weren't we supposed to pick Mom up an hour ago?" (

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Sister Thomas, who is an English teacher, was telling the Relief Society members how four high school boys, afflicted with spring fever, skipped her class one day. After lunch, they reported to her that their car had a flat tire on the way to school.

Much to their relief, I smiled and said, “Well, you missed the test this morning, so take your seats apart from one another, and get a piece of paper.”

Still smiling, I waited for them to settle. Then I said to them, “First question: ‘Which tire on the car went flat?’” (Stories and Jokes of Mormon Folks, compiled by Bruce E. Dana, p. 137)

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You are probably a Latter-day Saint if:

The planning meeting lasted longer than the planned meeting.

Laying your hands on your son doesn’t involve a spanking. (Latter-day Saint Wit and Wisdom, by David J. Brown, p. 110)

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Assigned to a conference at the Teton Stake in Idaho, J. Golden Kimball went to visit the Stake President at his home. There he saw a fine new barn, abundant crops, and handsome animals, but the house was an old two-room cabin. After the Stake President proudly showed him around, Elder Kimball said, “You have a nice home for your horses and cows. Next year when I come, I would like to see a nice home for your wife and children.” (Cheney, Golden Legacy, 110) (Best-Loved Humor of the LDS People, p. 205)

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J. Golden Kimball: “You know I am really glad so many people are so deeply concerned about my welfare. I was talking to a good brother, who hardly knew me, the other day, and I happened to say, ‘Well, I’ll be damned,’ and he said to me, ‘Yes, Brother Kimball, I am really afraid you might be.’” (The Golden Legacy, A Folk History of J. Golden Kimball, by Thomas E. Cheney, p. 101)

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So, You’re a Primary Teacher! , p. 60

So, You’re a Primary Teacher!, p. 60